go do what you do best...puke behind churches
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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