We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
