"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
