Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
