she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
