When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
