And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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