I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I deserve this hangover.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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