I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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