booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
