he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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