who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
i think im in europe. pls send help
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
