i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
