I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
