I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
