Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
