u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
