For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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