In the future we'll all be gay
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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