my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
bring money and cleavage
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
