Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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