Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Randomize
