well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
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