Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
