You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
