Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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