Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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