Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
