so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
