thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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