Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
