Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
