I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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