I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
only if we run a train.
done.
My balls are so social today.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
