last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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