Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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