i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
