This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I'm really busy with my period
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