It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
