4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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