Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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