i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
