I must be too annoying 4 u.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I booty called her while she was in labor.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
