He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Congratulations! We have a period
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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