yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
