The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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