Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
