we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
that may or may not have been my penis.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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