I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
