Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
