you guys were way drunker than both of me
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
