I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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