Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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