I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
